Insignificant Profile of the FOXY mama
Her name is Kajol.typo on da birth certificate so people ended up calling her Fadhillah.
18 yrs of age.
Innova Junior college.
occupation: Free HUG giving Cheerleader.
The Lady is..
hyper.
a bit of a loose cannon.(actuali a lot).
Perpetually smiling.
one hell of a joker.
simple behind all dat chaos.
You do the finding.
The Lady loves..
music.
dancing.
cheerleading.
old school songs.
making music.
performing.
HIGHPERRRNESS.
smiles.
stars.
Flowers!
chocolates.
breakwaters.
beach strolls.
parks.
CHILDREN.
a gentlemen(u hardly find any nowadays).
HUGS.
da smallest most simplest gestures.
the colour RED.
Romance.
MEN IN UNIFORM.SCDF,POLICE,SAF,SOCCERBOYS.(you know my favourite)its in the uniform.=)
The Lady dislikes..
insects.
cats.
darkness.
mean n nasty people.
baad baad people.grr.
Sunday, April 29, 2007
deep from within me, love was twisted and pointed at
You.yes you.
ToRemainorLeave? 1:24 PM
~its a damn cold nite~Ever had that sick ass feeling that gets stuck in your throat and its so hard to swallow? Well,dats how i feel rite now. The paradox of being so angry and wanting to smash something yet you also just wanna sit down and just cry.Lets blame it on circumstances.~wont you take me by the hand take me somewhere new?~Why does circumstances have to be this way week after week? Why does circumstance have to come between us like this? Why do u make me feel as though i am of little importance? You say so much but yet you don't show it. And when i voice it out,you get upset and you tell me im hurting you.it kills me to know that i hurt you. Cant you see?Let's blame it on circumstances.~i don't know who you are,but im with you~
I told you of my medical conditions. I told you not to be agressive in what you need to say or snap at me cuz i dun take it too well for i am actually Very soft hearted. But yet u still do. Maybe it's my fault. Well if it is,then i hope you accept my humble apologies.Lets blame it on Cirsumstances.~isnt anyone trying to find me~But right now, i i dun feel what you say you feel for me through your actions. Mere words are being spoken. Im starting to get scared of telling you how i really feel abt certain tings cause i dont want to hurt you. Perhaps if you opened your eyes bigger,you might just realise that: hei,perhaps i am not showing her wat she rili means to me. Thats why she's like this.Lets blame it on Circumstances.~wont somebody come take me home~I just wanna throw a bitchfit cause every weekend its the same ting. And dont you dare make me feel bad for feeling lyk as though i take meeting up as of more importance den u actuali do. Theres always sum circumstance dat forces me to kip it all in.but do u noe how hard it is for me to just be forced to throw away dat anger n frustration of u falling asleep on me or not answring my kols(makin me luk lyk a desperate ass for kolin so much)or just takin 2 mins to reply ONE sms cause u nid me to support u n console u.wat about me?Lets blame it on Circumstances.~i dont think you would be able to see what i feel inside~cmon,i emptied my whole weekend for.i noe u din promise me anitin..but hell..u cud at least make sumtime for me.its to da point dat i feel a ball,two goal posts n a field is of more importance den being wif me.u cud skip religious lessons for dat.y not for me?Lets blame it on Circumstances.~trying to be so perfect~u noe wat,screw this.kol me wen u want to.text me wen u want to.ask me out wen u want to.n dun u dare tel me dat u feel lyk as tho ur da oni one doing da chasing here.cuz wen i do make my move,u cant go on wif it cuz ur busy wif sumtin else,thus making me retreat into my shell.sink it in.~there were nights when the sun was so cruel~now u take da lead.n i will be the one seeing if i can make it or if i cant.u can make urself busy.so can i.n trust me.wen i immerse myself in work,even replying an sms wud b of little importance to me.i dowana do dat.lets not go there.~im waiting in the dark,i though that u'd be here by now~u can get mad at me if ever u cum across dis post.but i nid to let dis out sumwhere.so there.thank u blogger.patience u say?try being in my shoes for da past three weeks.den u cum n tok to me abt patience.~trying to figure out this life~perhaps tings wud be smooth sailing after u pass out from the academy.i pray it wud.u tel me i do haf to prove myself worth too,but how do i wen everytime i try,u make me retreat?u got alot to show me.da feelings u claim u haf.keeping to ur werds.being patient n not snapping at me.n being able to show me dat i do mean sumtin thru ur actions.cuz at dis point of time,ur werds dun hold anitin.dey used to.until u kept not keeping to dose very werds u said.~when you hold me like this and i kiss you like that~u haf no idea wat my feelings are towards u.i wanted to tell u.but i guess because of circumstances.now u'll possibly never noe.i just realised dat he mite just be infuriated n die frm anger if he reads dis..but dis is wat he has conformed me to feel.im sorry.~too long,too late~i need Kristel.i need Azi.i need Nisa.i need to jog.i need Iman.i need Bai.i need Amrit.i need Idham.i need 0743A.help me pls.~im looking for a place~~ searching for a face ~~is anybody here i know~~cause nothings going right~~and everythings a mess~~and no one likes to be alone~foxy mama,out.(sori ppl,cant bring myself to giggle n bounce off today.im at da verge of crying.)
ToRemainorLeave? 12:14 PM
Sunday, April 22, 2007
~No man,no cry~
im baaack...lotsa ppl telling me my blog quite dead..never post frequent entries..i busy mah..n lyk sumtimes haf to admit..a bit lazy..hahaha..aiyah..u all miss me just say la..no nid to hide hide n say "ur blog y never update"..hahahahhaha.cute la u all..hahahah..
~here you are by my side~
though it was a tinsy bit weird toking to him again,im whole hell glad.its gona take time.but its gona be worth it...cmon,gif us a break,its been more den 10 months since we last spoke..now dats the shit..haha..lunch sumtime perhaps?dat feeling of him tokin to me again..no wait,dat feeling wen i get wen he smiles at me,UNDESCRIBABLE.. =)
~when im lost in the rain,in your eyes i know i'll find the light to light my way~
kristel came over to chill the oder day...a dosage of kristel does wonders to my system...i miss her so..having her der wif me all the time..sigh...if only.
~too long,too late,who was I to make you wait?~
tings din go so well on saturday(yesterday).
suppose to be picked up at 9.
9am: i call n call n call n call n call.no ans.
930: thinks to self "I WAKE UP BEFORE DA FREAKIN SUN RISES N HE IS DEAD TO DA WERLD"
940am: one answers.(FINALLY!)find out one slept at 4am due to family problems.
945am: thinks to self, "damn i hate it wen we r so ready on being angry n throwing a bitch fit n den dey come along wif a good reason n then u haf to be oh so understanding cuz its written in the book"
946am: swallows plate of anger n says "its okay,just go get ready"
950am: one goes to quickly shower to fetch me.
1015am : gets a msg "im sori,my mum just collapsed in da toilet. i cant just leave her like this.but i will meet u today,i promise"
1016am: thinks to self "bessssssst."
~last chance for one last dance~
enuf of da schedule ting...budden at nite one took me out on a car ride..n sumhow made up for PART of the whole day...ders a make up next saturday.hopefully everyone breaths well.(i hope she's fine)never thought that i would wait..oh but i did..
~waiting for someone~
next week,going back to band to help out.hope dey do well for SYF.
oh good god..homework..homework n more homewerk...i wana kill da ppl hu invented ECONOMICS..wana noe how economics shud be spelt?its true spelling..heres how u spell economics E-V-I-L.all dose in favour say i.n u can sign up for membership in dis organization i started.we take part in meetings to plan out a SUPER GOOD plan to kill da ppl hu came up wif economics..n dose ppl hu actuali HELP economists.ppl lyk JOHN SLOMAN.
~when i find my way back,to your arms again~
well,here i am waiting once againwats new?take care ppl..
here's sum jokes to lighten up da craps in my post.
pick up lines n how a gurl shud ans dem:
guy:how do u wan ur eggs in da morning?
gurl: unfertilized.
yo momma's so fat,she fell in love and broke it.
keep smiling all.(no dats not a joke.)
~so here we stand in out secret place~
~with the sound of the crowd,so far away~
~you take my hand and it feels like home~
~while dancing we'll feel like theres no tomorrow~
~so how do i say,do i say "Goodbye"~
~we both have our dreams,we both wanna fly~
~so lets take tonight,to carry us through~
~the lonely times~
foxy mama,out.
*giggles n bounces off*
ToRemainorLeave? 9:17 PM
Sunday, April 15, 2007
-kaulah segalanya-malay intro..heeee....from the police officer wif da voice of angel.go figure.=)-there can be miracles when you believe-dear god.he's back.yes him.and because of him,im updating my blog.-though hope is frail is hard to kill-u haf no idea how long i've waited for dis moment..sumtimes wen everyone tels me i shud move on n just forget abt him cuz a fren wudnt put frens thru such hell, a small part of me stays behind n waits..n im ever so grateful for dat part dat waited.cuz now,my wait has ended n he's back.-lying beside you,here in the dark-it all began lyk dis..was on msn...sundenly,a window popped up..it was him..asking me for my hp number...cuz it got deleted...then i tried my luck..ask him how he was..USUALLY..i wud be slapped back wif a short blunt 'im fine' or sumtin sumwhere along dat line.but last nite.the angels opened the gates of heaven.n BAM.he poured his heart out..every second there was last nite..was pure bliss..at da verge of tears..-so here we are-he practically spilled his guts out...n wif everyting we shared abt in our lives recently,i relived every memory i had wif him.now more than ever..i cant wait to kick start the rebirth of our frenship..dis time around..i refuse to let anitin take him away from me..-without you where do i belong?-u shud haf seen the joy i was immersed in.n mind u,i still am.i cant wait to see him in skul.i cant wait to say hi..i cant wait to smile dat smile i haf locked away frm him..i just cant wait to be in his presence again..its been too long..-you keep me warm-he thought that perhaps i mite tink hes running back to me oni wen he nids me..wen he feels lyk he has nobody..even if he does feel dat way..i wud welcome him back with open arms..-dont ever leave my side-how precious he is to me.he doesnt noe.though he made me feel lyk a stranger..worse,a non existant being in his life,nevertheless,he was always a part of mine..i just had to wait patiently for him to come back..just had to wait in the silence and in the shadows he plunged me in...my hero......iman....he's back.n now,begins a new chapter of our frenship..thank you.-so now i come to you,with open arms--nothing to hide,believe what i say--sp here i am,with open arms--hoping you'll see what your love means to me--open arms-foxy mama,out.*giggles n bounces off*
ToRemainorLeave? 5:56 PM
Friday, April 06, 2007
~its time to boogey~ADASTRA.........................................THIRD IN NATIONAL CHEERLEADING.~three wishes,what would they be?~THIRD IN SINGAPORE KINDNESS MOVEMENT CHEERLEADING COMPETITON....~why surrender when you can win?~MOST POPULAR SQUAD BY PUBLIC VOTING IN DA SAME COMPETITON.....~time is precious and its slipping away~go.fly.shine. people.......Go.Fly.Shine.~i can read your mind and i know your story~i miss flying so bad....=( sigh...i miss kristel shitloads...i so need to make time for her....haf not been living up to my status as her best gf now haf i?disappointment is me..~i feel like i've been locked up tight for a century of lonely nights~oh oh oh!!i loooove my new class!!!0743A CHAMPION CG during skul camp!!!!WOOOOOOOOOO!!!well done u guys...all our merepekness....paid off!!!hahhaha...da camp was great...u shud haf seen me..i was so paranoid abt getting burnt...was on a sunblock frenzy..everytime da instructor asks "any qns?" i will say "wen can we put on sunblock?"...hahhahaahah!!!retard.im soooo happy for baizura..shes soooo gona say yes to him la can...bloody pantat still wana deny.haha!he was there.~stupid cupid,stop pickin' on me~i mite haf to take a leave from tings dat i put less priority on in my life at dis point of time such as relationships cuz i see a need for me to get my schedule back on track..my studies.its not fair for me to make ppl wait while i sort tings out...so yeah...the possibility is very much there....dun be mad..priorities : 1.Family2.Studies3.Girlfriends(kristel)4.Cheerleading5.Music(sacss band)6.Friends7.relationshipsyup....at dis point of time...anyone canstill take deir shot at me..if ur good,u get it...if ur not,u din capture it..dis is how my life goes at dis point of time..try to change if u may...but dun b too hopeful though...if u dun like it...then, Piss off....its My life...~my heart is like an open highway~Hakuna matata.
went to ite simei to run the other day...made new friends..hahaha..nice running place..takes my mind off things..yup..well...it ends here for now...til i haf time to blog again...kip smiling lovelies..=)~when you want it the most there's no easy way out~~when you're ready to go but your hearts left in doubt~~dont give up on your faith~~love comes to those who believe it~~and thats the way it is~funny how i like this song and its lyrics..ironic dun u think?foxy mama,out.*giggles n bounces off*
ToRemainorLeave? 11:21 AM